Onward and Upward

These past weeks I was stuck - mired in the bog of shame and regret.
Sinking quick in the muck of sorrow and regret.

The sting of sin hit and I was left grasping the reality that the consequences for a hardened heart have a far-reaching effect... years later.

Here's what I learned:
Focusing on what is behind me leaves me in the past.

I hurt for what was instead of finding joy in what is.

My eyes become blind to the here and now and I simply can't see the goodnes of the Lord.

I found myself coming to Paul's idea in his letter to the church in Phillipi.  He had written to them while imprisoned, exhorting them to a deeper faith made manifest that was not based on their circumstances.

 "But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind

 and straining forward to what lies ahead. 

I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call

of God in Christ Jesus."

 (Phillipians 3:13-14)

Strive:
1) struggle
2) try hard

The NIV uses "strain."
Strain: to exert to the utmost

I'll be honest.
In my focusing on my "could have, should have, if only's" I was deep in darkness wondering, "how long, O Lord?"

How long until the hurt is gone?
How long until I see the goodness in this?
How long until the pain is not so bitter?

That part was easy.  There is not much exertion when it comes to wallowing in self-pity.

Where I struggled was turning my eyes outward instead of inward.  Finding joy in what I have instead of what I wanted took great strength.

But in fixing my eyes outward and forward and upward, I found the beauty of what Paul was conveying to his flock.

This life is but a breath.  One day I'll fade away and that will be it.
So why keep looking back on the brokenness and what lies in ruins?

I need to press onward, running headlong with abandonment into eternity.

Jesus is there.  And he has already cried, "It is finished."

Victory is mine.