4 years of grieving.
4 years of hurting.
4 years of much sorrow.
Mother's Day came and went with reminders of what has been taken. What has been lost.
A season of sin led to a decision that has birthed many regrets.
Asked by our pastor - in the midst of teaching through Ephesians - what do we need to be reminded of that Jesus is over.
Ephesians 1:21 reads, "far above all rule and authority and power and dominion..."
He asked us to write down the words, "Jesus is over."
He then asked asked us to list underneath what it is we're struggling with and to see that Jesus is over it all.
I want to say I'm healed. I want to say it doesn't affect me.
4 years is 4 years is 4 years and it's time to move on.
Yet...
Today, writing my list, good things, hard things and just plain painful things led me to write longing.
A longing that has not been realized and won't be realized.
A longing that is putting distance between the very relationship that needs healing.
I'm grateful that in the midst of the sorrow, there is joy. Deep-rooted joy that is steadfast and unwavering.
Grateful that I have a high priest who sympathizes with me and gives me grace and mercy in my time of need.
Because, God knows, I am desperately needy. And he alone can fill the need.
Hebrews 4:16
Since then we have a great high priest has passed through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence, draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.
