A New Path

Life changes. 
Sometimes far too quickly.  Sometimes far too slowly.

These last three years have been difficult.  Maritally, personally, spiritually.

The Lord has grown both Jake and I separately and together.  One of the biggest things He has grown us in, me especially, has been our contentedness with the here and now.

I'm the "when-then" girl.  As in, "When this happens, then I'll be happy."

The Lord brought me to a place that revealed just how arrogant and entitled that was.  Paul gives me great hope when he writes that he has learned to be content...

I have learned to be content with the here and now.

And right when I start settling into my here and now, the Lord turns it topsy turvy.

Two months ago, Jake was sought out for a job.  A job we rejected because it was so far-fetched and he had a family... (can you hear my self-righteousness?).

But the Lord, in all his powerful ways, wouldn't let us reject it.  For three days, he hammered away at our hearts asking us to trust him. 

Let me be honest - I lack faith.  Abundantly so.  One of my constant prayers is that I would live by faith and not by sight.  This job offer was an opportunity to do that.

So we submitted the resume, knowing it did not tie us to anything.
All of a sudden, things took off.  We had to submit all sorts of information and forms for him to gain a security clearance. His resume was rolled up to the next level.  The whole time, we thought, "surely not."

"Surely so," said God. 

And here we are.

On Monday afternoon, we got word Jake had been chosen.  We had to give them an answer by Tuesday morning.  Instead of the 3-4 week window of time we were told we would have to prepare, we have been given one week.

And here we are.

On Wednesday my husband will leave for training for three weeks in Michigan.  After that he leaves for the National Deployment Center and just a couple of days after that he will be shipped to Afghanistan.

Did I mention the boys and I are not going with him?
Did I mention this is for a year?
Did I mention he'll be on a military base doing contract work for the military?

I can tell you the myriad of reasons we had for saying no.  I can tell you the myriad of voices we had telling us no.

The funny thing is when the Lord calls you, you answer.  No matter the difficulty.  No matter the pain.  No matter the fear.

I trust Him, this One who has allowed this.  And I'm praying hard that I would walk in joy, glorifying Him in this difficult season.

Both Jake and I are extremely grateful He has given us this opportunity.  It has been 3 long years of praying, of working, of having doors closed and feeling we are at a dead end.


But in all that, Christ called us to live by faith, not by sight.  To learn to be content with the here and now.

Sweet Tea Friend

I'm a southern girl.  Good ole' Mississippi, no less.  So sweet tea is my thing... Real sweet tea.  The kind you steep for half the day and add a cup of real sugar to and then let it sit and mix overnight.

No instant powder options and no unsweet tea that I have to add my own sweetner to.  In fact, many a restaurant has been labeled "failure" in my book for their inability to serve real sweet tea.

When I go to my mom's, she always has an extra pitcher made.  There's something about sipping sweet tea at my mom's in East Texas that tilts my world back right.

Suffice to say, sweet tea might just be my comfort food. 

This past week was hard.  I was sick and tired and the boys were sick and tired of me being sick and tired.  (Quick, how many times can a 6 year old ask if I'm still sick?  Answer: too many times to count).

Friday found me hiding on the couch fighting the urge to call my husband home from work to help and fighting the tears that hovered so close to the surface about to spill over.

And then my sweet 5 year old has a tantrum of epic proportions.  Screaming, destroying and disobeying.

I'm feebly telling him to go to his room.
He's firmly screaming at me "no" while continuing to do what I told him not to do.

Once I tell him he's reached 7 spankings and his mouth is being washed out with soap (why yes, yes we do discipline seriously around here), he now decides to obey.

At that moment, a message pops up on my phone.

From my sweet friend who had to find someone else to watch her girls that morning because I was sick.
My sweet friend who had offered to come over and watch the boys so I could rest.
My sweet friend who was checking in to see how everything was going.

So I told her.  Honestly.  Hopefully I didn't come across as desperate as I felt... But I'm sure I did!

She didn't skip a beat.  Even thought she had been at a difficult appointment that morning, she tells me to come over with the boys and she'll make me sweet tea.

Be still my heart.

What came to my mind as I went to discipline my passionate little fireball and what I told him was; this was evidence of God's sheer goodness.

In our wicked moments of rebellion and disobedience, He wraps us up in His loving arms of comfort.
He is a God of mercy and loves to give us good gifts even though we don't deserve them and have not even thought to ask for them.

So humbly I went to receive a blessing in the form of a dear friend and a glass filled with much more than comfort.

Merciful

I'm faltering right now.

There's been a difficult circumstance.  One, where medically, the situation was cut and dry.
Emotionally, there were gray areas.

What happened happened.  I trust that to the Lord.

Job 42:1  I know you can do all things and no plan of your can be thwarted.

I can confess my confusion.
But I have to go back to the basics.

And, it has to start with God and who He says He is.

I reached out, sought godly counsel as my emotions were running high.  It took diffrent perspectives to help me navigate this thing called life and suffering.

Over and over, I kept hearing the word "merciful."  As in "God is merciful", and "It was an act of mercy this was even caught."

Moses, needing desperately more of the Lord, asks to see His glory.
The Lord, in His goodness, hides Moses in the cleft of the rock and proclaims truth.
 
Truth that is unfailing, from the mouth of God Himself.

"The Lord, the Lord, a God merciful and gracious,

slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love

 and faithfulness, keeping steadfast love for thousands..."

Deuteronomy 34:6

 

Merciful meaning compassionate and lenient.

 

I have had to sit in this these last couple of days as a sweet friend lost her thriving, living baby who was an ectopic pregnancy to save her other baby's life and her own.

 

Shades of gray where you cry out your confusion and heartache to the Lord but know He is merciful and good and does good.

 

An unfailing truth as we mourn baby Evan.



Live Like That

If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God.  Set your minds on the things above not on things that are on earth.  For you have died and your life is hidden with Christ in God.  When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.

 

Colossians 3:1-4

 

Completely convicted today over this... "Set my mind on the things above... my life is hidden with Christ in God...when Christ, who is my life...

 

Do I live like that?  Do I pursue the higher, holier, godlier things?

Or do I settle for simple earthly passings?

 

If Christ is my life, if I claim to be a "Christian", does my life actually look like Christ's?  Does my life and the way I live reflect the true state of my heart?

 

Too often we can look good. We can go through the motions of conforming outwardly.  Bow our heads.  Give glory to God.  Claim Christ.

 

All the while we're walking in our earthliness, chasing things the world has deemed important.

 

Why?  If we know what his Word says and what we should do, why does our life look like everyone else around us, even those in our church?

 

We don't take seriously the Word of God. 

We do the "yeah...but."

 

"Yeah, I know it says to put to death sexual immorality, but how far is too far?"

"Yeah, it says to put away all anger and malice, but you'd be really upset if they did that to you."

"Yeah, I know it says wives are to be submissive to their husbands but that was a different time and culture."

 

That's what we do.  We take God's living, active, unfailing Word and twist it.

 

You know who else twisted the truth? 

Satan...

From the very beginning.  Did God really say...?

 

It all hinged on that phrase.  Was Eve going to take God at his Word -- setting her mind on the things above -- or choose to satisfy the earthly, fleshly desire warring inside her?

 

It's a daily choice - inviting the Spirit to fill you - so you might walk in the newness of life and pursue Christ as your life.

 

Because on your own your flesh will eventually become evident.

The fruit you bear reveals what you are rooted in.

 

The eternal treasures of Christ or the fleeting trinkets of this world is a choice.

 

Put on then as God's chosen, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility,

meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if anyone has a complaint against another,

forgiving each other, as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive...

Colossians 3:12-13