Speaking the truth in love.Not being diplomatic.
Not being politically correct.
But being biblical.
Sometimes it's hard not only to receive the truth spoken in love but it's also hard to be the one speaking the truth in love.
People will make assumptions about your motives based on their own insecurities, sins, struggles, convictions, and past history. They will project their feelings and thoughts on you.
In other words, they will pass judgement on you. They will tell you it's not good timing, it's inappropriate, and that you should be more considerate of the greater amount of people.
Ecclesiastes tells us there is a time to speak and a time to listen.
James tells us we are to be slow to speak and quick to listen.
However, if we avoid hard conversations and only ever listen, counsel would cease. Those hard conversations would never be had. We would all sit on our hands waiting for the other person to initiate.
So how do you know? How do you know when you're to speak and when you're to keep silent? Two simple questions that can help you:
1) Am I being loving in this moment (1 Corinthians 13 is a fantastic definition of love)?
2) Am I being truthful (speaking what actually happened; feelings are real, but they are not fact)?
You cannot be loving without being truthful and you cannot be truthful without being loving. These are synergistic. They work with each other, not against.
If your words are truthful and loving, seek the wisdom from above on the when -- God gives it generously to all who ask.
Once spoken, your words are out. People (even those whom they were intended for) will mishear them, misunderstand them and miscommunicate them. They will assume motives.
You will be judged.
This is where fear of God over fear of man is most important.**
Ultimately, your heart should be to seek the approval of God, not man, and glorify God and not yourself. Rest in the fact that you perform for an audience of one. Your obedience to him is more valuable than the applause of thousands.
When speaking the truth in love, speak boldly, asking the Lord to soften hearts (including yours). And then let the Holy Spirit do what only he can do -- convict.
** Edward T. Welch has fantastic book over this heart issue; When People are Big and God is Small
