Boundaries

I'm trying too hard to be organized.
I'm trying too hard to be neat.
I'm trying too hard to put boundaries around us so for the person on the outside looking in, we look good and put together.
But that's not my life stage right now.  I won't fold the load of laundry in one sitting.  The living room floor will need to be vacuumed in two segments spaced an hour apart. School does take all day to accomplish in ten minute blocks of time. The front yard can be mowed but not weed-eated.
For a type-A, highly controlling, highly strung people pleaser, none of these things sits well with me.
What is even worse, though, is realizing doing and finishing all these things doesn't gain me more time for what really matters; it just takes away the time from the four gifts that I have.
So do I embrace culture and others' impositions and desires or do I embrace the here and now?
Knowing full well I can't do it on my own. I will sit and read a book with them but my eye is surveying the scattered Legos and thrown crayons all over the floor instead of the wonder in their eyes at David slinging the stone.
Time and time again, I ask the Lord to change my heart. To enjoy what He has given me, to find immeasureable peace amidst the never-ending chaos.  To see that disorganization and mess actually brings more time.  The one thing I'm seeking after by doing more... I finally realized I have it backwards.
I have this time here for what He's given me now.