Approval

This constant need for approval from others is wearisome.  It means everything I do, say, or act on is performed for others. 
Picture perfect family uploaded?  Check.
Hilarious moment with the boys as my status?  Check.
House clean for whoever is coming over?  Check.
Attempt to be trendy but act like I don't care?  Check.

While surrounded by a constant mass of people for a week, the Lord revealed just how desperate my heart is to be part of the "in-crowd."  We all crave it because we were all built for it - community.
Where everybody knows your name.

But to know my name and actually know me are two differnt things.

I'm part of a massive church.  In fact, the correct name for it is "mega-church".

Mega meaning 1) great and 2) a million times (thanks Mr. Webster).

In my case, 10,000 members at three campuses, about to be four.

Hardly a place to be known.  Yet I fall into the trap of thinking that the larger amount of people who know me, the better off I am.

My example needs to be Christ.  He walked with twelve and then always honed in on three during extremely difficult or intimate times: the Garden of Gethsemane and The Transfiguration among some.

Hundreds called out to Him.
Hundreds knew His name.

And He loved them and taught them, ate dinner with them and served them but He knew spreading Himself too thin would ultimately damage His ministry.  Making Himself so known would ultimately make God the Father so unknown.

John the Baptist rightly said it "He must increase, but I must decrease" (John 3:30).

This is something I call to mind over and over: I don't need everyone.  I certainly don't need their approval.  I can't be "it" for everyone. 

And perhaps the most difficult of all: Not everyone will like me.

In this social media age where your enemy can be your "friend" and a person you don't even have a relationship with can comment on the photo of your child and no one can dislike what you say, only like, we've lost sight of true authentic relationships.

It has become all about quantity, not quality.

I want to be known.  Deeply, intimately, all beveled facets of my ever-changing nature.  And if that means very few people knowing who I am, I'll consider it a success.

John 15:13  Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friend.

Psalm 37:4  Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.