Thoughts

Thoughts from today's court hearing.

I can't go based on what I feel.  What I feel is doubt.  What I feel is confusion.

Everytime, He brings me back to His word.  My heart is deceitful.  The enemy wants me to doubt His goodness because in my doubting, I'm not trusting.  When I'm not trusting in Truth, I'm believing the lies of this world. 
So I confessed that.  Told God I didn't know where to go with this.  With everything that has been swirling around the last couple of weeks.  Things that were brought to light in court.

In my disbelief, I always believe He will answer.  And He did.

A sweet time of prayer with the boys following the long day in court was simple.  The Lord's Prayer.  If it's good enough for Jesus to teach the disciples, it's certainly good enough for me to cry it out. 

The first line is "Your kingdom come, Your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven."

Everything hidden is brought to light.  So no matter if we get the protection we've been begging the Lord for or whether He chooses not to grant it, I have to fall on His Word.  And His Word says that His ways are higher than our ways and His thoughts higher than our thoughts.  His greatness is unsearchable.  His understanding, who can fathom?

God is who He says He is.  I AM.  So I can be confused, I can be perplexed, I can doubt.  Music to my ears when for so long, I couldn't voice my unbelief.

Knowing He cares for the least of these, and a sweet, innocent child is certainly the least of these yet so mightily His.

Satan throws the fiery darts.  Again and again.  But the Lord is my strength and He upholds me with His righteous right hand.

So whether what we believe is what comes to light or we're thrown a curveball, we rest in the sovereignty of an all-knowing, all seeing God.  Indeed, it's in my doubting that He reveals Himself time and time again for no other reason but to give courage to my weak and flailing heart.